I'm gonna let u go. From now on, I'm gonna let u go. Finally, I think I'm able to let u go.

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I'm done so done. I'm not gonna try anymore.

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Dear diary, I think im starting to make it obvious. This is not good at all. God help me. I dont want anybody to get hurt :(

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Falling for you wasn't part of the plan. Now I have to convince myself that this is not really happening.

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I need to start waking up. I need to stop dreaming. I need to wake up to reality. I need somebody to constantly kick me, pinch me, slap me.

Cos this is just getting too unhealthy. It's mentally draining me.

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• I have 2 brothers and a sister who are very protective of me
• I am the youngest out of 4 siblings
• My dad has been my biggest inspiration and my mum means the world to me
• I tend to be very shy and quiet around people i dunnoe
• but once i feel comfortable, i'll be damn loud you would regret knowing me lol
• i don't make friends easily and i don't trust people easily
• i have a cat name blacky and i treat him like my own child (for real)
• i love it when it rains especially when im at home. i can just stare at it for hours
• i love long bus rides and walking home at night. it makes me think about my life.
• I had my heart first broken when i was 16
• Im a sucker for chinese guys. almost all the guys ive dated have chinese blood
• i have seen someone died right in front of my eyes 
• i love to sing, i can sing for hours and hours. it gives me the best feeling in the world
• i have high hopes and dreams. i never limit myself.
• i cant click well with malay girls. i dunnoe why also lol
• i love to travel. i hope im able to travel around the world one day
• I got hooked to the korean world when i was 19 and it changed my whole life
• Im in love with Changmin (yes that dbsk guy)
• I used to go crazy over heechul (now my friends call me a betrayer)
• I love korean dramas. I can watch it all day and i can repeat watching each drama 3 to 4 times.
• I usually cant sleep without listening to music
• I absolutely hate it when people cancel plans with me last minute. It can cause world war 3
• I hate cockroaches. It makes me so happy when i get to kill them and see them die (*evil laughter)
• I have difficulty waking up in the morning but yet i can instantly be awake when i get messages and calls
• I love to watch crime shows and documentaries
• I love love love to eat. I would spend all my money on food rather than clothes
• People who don't know me would find me very arrogant (and so ive been told)
• Im a proud Muslim and i thank god for all the blessings he has given me
• The only cartoon i like to watch is spongebob squarepants
• I hate vegetables and i only eat spinach,kangkong and broccoli
• I dont like to be challenged
• I dont usually feel pity when someone is murdered or abused 
• but when animals are being abused, i feel so much hatred to that person i wish i could kill them
• I love animals and i wish i could protect all the animals in the world
• i wish i had beyonce's voice and alicia keys piano skills
• i dont club, i dont drink (yes surprise surprise)
• i like to imagine ridiculous things inside my head
• my friends think im weird and not from this world
• My macbook and my iphone are my bestfriends
• "life is like a rollercoaster" is my favourite catch phrase
• i love going on car rides at night and putting my head out the window
• i have two groups of good friends called faggots and omp family
• im a self proclaimed artist from YG entertainment hahahahaha
• Im 21 and i still love going out with my mum
• Even though im 21, my friends tell me i have a mentality of a 12 year old (sigh)
• Everytime my friends come over my place, i have this self service rule for them
• The only food i know how to cook are fried eggs and maggi
• i feel like i forgive people too easily no matter what they have done to me
• Yes i do smoke
• I don't fall for guys easily but when i do, i fall really deep
• Im happy with my current life and i dont see the need in having a boyfriend
• I will only consider about marriage once i hit 30
• I would like to be a bird in my next life
• People think i have a loud hailer stuck inside my throat
• Sometimes i imagine that i am married to Changmin
• I talk to myself a lot when im alone
• People might think that im playful but once i set my mind on something, i make sure i will get it 
• After watching an epic korean drama, i will get depress for awhile
• I like to hold in my pee (lol bad habit)
• I have a close relationship with my family
• I can sleep in 1 minute when someone starts to massage me
• I have a 24/7 radio inside my head
• I like to randomly blurt out words that don't make sense in foreign language
• Im a bit biased towards cute kids. I dont like to entertain kids that are not cute (yes im guilty)
• When it comes to kids, i prefer boys rather than girls
• I have been asked to go up on stage and make a public apology in front of hundred of students
• The first concert i have been to was the boyband BLUE and it was bought with my own money
• I know how to play mahjong even though im not good at it
• I hope that i can sing on stage one day with thousands of people watching me
• I ignore anyone who talks to me when im watching my korean dramas 
• I like to believe that i have imaginary fans hahahahahah
• i am 168cm tall and i hope to at least increase another 2cm
• I cant draw for nuts. my drawing skills are worst than a 2 year old
• i can never eat yesterday's leftover food even though my mum has reheat it
• I used to play golf with my dad
• I vow never to date another guy shorter than me in my life (NEVER)
• When my other cat died, i cried like there's no tomorrow
• I like to have long, serious conversations about life, about future
• im a mixed of indian and eurasian (yes believe it or not)
• If i have a lot of money, i wish to go for lasik eye surgery
• I want to live in a country filled with snow
• I like to fight with my 2 year old nephew
• I want a korean boyfriend, no i NEED a korean boyfriend lol 
• When i get excited, i tend to talk really fast
• I think im good at lying really, i can put on a straight face when im lying (only over small matters)
• I had my first overseas trip with my friends when i was 20
• I hardly get sad, even when i do i rarely show it to people
• i actually prefer staying at home than going out
• I have this thing for feminine guys (strange but true)
• The only features that i am proud of are my eyes 
• The last time i dated someone was 1 1/2 years ago
• I don't like long conversations on the telephone especially with boys ( i have better things to do) 
• I already have a 3 year future plan for myself
• I want to see heechul and changmin in real life before i die
• I don't cry easily but i can cry like a baby when it comes to my korean dramas 95
• Most of my close friends are either malay boys or chinese
• The best present my dad got for me was a keyboard. I have spent day and night composing on that baby.
• I have a weird signature
• I like to give my friends my autograph for no purpose
• The only girl group i like is destiny's child and 2NE1

And I wanna believe you, when you say that it will be ok. Yea I try to believe you but i don't.

When you say that it's gonna be, it always turns out to be a different way and I try to believe you but not today.

And I, I dunnoe how i feel tomorrow. And I, I dunnoe what to say tomorrow. Tomorrow it's a different day.

Give me a little time, leave me alone a little while. Maybe it's not too late.

And I know I'm not ready. Maybe tomorrow.

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